Of Insanity And Blue Cheese
by mr.flachenheiner
Summary: The Mega, Multi chapter, Multi character, Multi crossover, Multi author story is finally here. This is what happens when Jaysee, The French Orange Muffin, me and possibly Galactic drummer get bored... Insanity ensues
1. Chapter 1

Mr.flachenhener: The disclaimer thingy; Neither me or Jaysee or The French Orange Muffin own any of the characters in this story except our selves. All characters belong to thier respective companies. -------------------------------------------------------------- 

Mr.flachenheiner: (sitting in a large chair with an even larger book) Once upon a time, in a land far, far away…

The French Orange Muffin: (sitting in another chair) NO! Ya can't start a story like that!

Mr.flachenheiner: Whatta ya mean I can't start a story like that?

The French Orange Muffin: That's waaaay too clichéd.

Mr.flachenheiner: Oh fine, be that way.

The French orange muffin: I will.

Mr.flachenheiner: (blows a raspberry) Kay' how's this…Long, long ago in a place far, far away…

Jaysee: You making fun of Starwars now????

Mr.flachenheiner: (in a small voice) No… (to tfom (The French orange muffin)) He's rather scary when it comes to starwars.

Tfom: I know but… how'd he get here?

Jaysee: CAN WE GET ALONG WITH THE STORY NOW!!!!!???

Mr.flachenheiner: Okay, okay, keep your hair on (picks up the book and searches for a good beginning)

Jaysee: Oh and you're a good one to talk

Mr.flachenheiner: YOU INSULTING THE HAIR!?!?!?!

Jaysee: Um no…

Mr.flachenheiner: YOU'D BETTER NOT BE. FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR HEALTH AND SANITY YOU'D BETTER NOT!!!!...

Tfom: Alright, alright, can we get on with the story telling.

Mr.flachenheiner: (picks up the book once more) Let's see once upon a time. No. Long, long ago. No. Aha! Here it is; In a vast deep forest there was-

Jaysee and Tfom: NO!!!!

Mr.flachenheiner: (throws the book out a window) Oh for the love of pete and all powers above!!! ALRIGHT, CUT THE CRAP AND SKIP TO THE GOLF COURSE!!!!


	2. Golfing

Dawn of the first day: 72 hours remain

Termina Golf course. Jaysee, King Hydros (From Golden Sun: The Lost Age), The random Scottish sailor from pirates of the Caribbean: dead man's chest and me are all standing around the start point to hole 18.765.

King Hydros: (To Jaysee) I say, is it possible that there is a partial hole?

Jaysee: I guess so. Since it exits, then I would say so.

Mr.flachenheiner: FOUR!!!! (Whacks the ball and gets hole in one) I WIN!!

King Hydros: Is it my turn yet?

Mr.flachenheiner: Sure.

King Hydros: (Hits the ball, ball goes about two inches. Hits the ball again, ball goes about two inches. Hits the ball again, ball goes about two inches. Hits the ball again, ball goes about two inches. Hits the ball again, ball goes about two inches. Hits the ball again, ball goes about two inches. Hits the ball again, ball goes about two inches. Hits the ball again, ball goes about two inches. Hits the ball again, ball goes about two inches. Hits the ball again, ball goes about two inches…)

Mr.flachenheiner: AAAAAHHHH!!!! IT'S THE CURSE OF COPY/PASTE, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!! (Runs around insanely in circles)

Jaysee: Yo! Flachenheiner, calm down and take a deep breath and everything will be alright.

King Hydros: (trudging back from the other side of the golf course)

Jaysee: So… how'dit go?

King Hydros: 43825 Whack… things…yeah.

Mr.flachenheiner: Well that sucks.

King Hydros: (goes off to grumble in a corner)

Scottish sailor: My turn!

Jaysee: No it's not. It's my turn.

Scottish sailor: (Grumbles)

Jaysee: (Lines up to putt) Four!!!! (Gets a hole in one… but the ball went to hole 17)

Mr.flachenheiner: How'd that happen? Hole 17 is behind us…

All:…

Scottish sailor: Now it's my turn! (Lines up, swings and misses and sends a piece of the turf flying)

Mr.flachenheiner: Strike one!

Scottish sailor: SHUT UP!!! (Swings and misses again and sends more turf flying)

Mr.flachenheiner: Strike two!

Scottish sailor: (Looks ready to explode) Allright, yeh can do this. Just ignore the stupid little critters in the background.

-10 minutes later-

Mr.flachenheiner: Strike four hundred sixty three thousand nine hundred and eighty two!

Scottish sailor: (is standing in a crater with the golf ball on top of a tiny pillar of earth) ALL RIGHT THA'S IT!!! I HAVE HAD IT!!! GOLF IS A STUPID SPORT ANYWAYS. DAMN WHOEVER INVENED THE STUPID SPORT!!!!!

Mr.flachenheiner: Ummmm… Didn't the Scotts invent golf?

Scottish sailor: Shut up. You're Scottish too anyways.

Mr.flachenheiner: No I'm not.

Scottish sailor: Yes yeh are, laddie!

Mr.flachenheiner: alright then prove it!

Scottish sailor: Fine, I will. (hands mr.flachenheiner a set of bagpipes.)

Mr.flacheheiner: And you expect me to play these?

Scottish sailor: well yeah. I mean what else can you do with them? Whack people over the head with them?

All: …

Scottish sailor: JUST PLAY THE FREAKIN BAGPIPES!!!!

Mr.flachenheiner: (Starts playing the canon house theme song (from twilight princess))

Jaysee: Wait a second… This sounds familiar.

Mr.flachenheiner: (continues playing)

Jaysee: That's the canon house theme…but doesn't it always end with a bang… (is hit with realization) EVERYBODY, HEAD FOR THE HILLS IT'S GONNA BLOW!!!!

_**KABOOM!!!!!!**_

And so the universe started. Well not really but this story did. 


	3. Dairy Lighthouse

Dairy Lighthouse

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away called Weyard, there was a power known as Alchemy. Alchemy was at the source of all life, and the universe itself was believed to have been born from its elements. However, due to the greed of mankind, the power of alchemy had to be sealed away into four gems known as stars, each representing the base of elements.

But, one day atop the lighthouse of Earth, weeks after the seal of Alchemy had begun to be broken, things were about the change even more drastically. Sworn enemies to Vale, the town which once guarded the stars, Saturos and Menardi were now attempting to ignite the beacon of the lighthouse with the star. That was when Isaac and his crew encountered these two, and fought them to the death.

Mia summoned Boreas. Massive blazes of ice recovered the two fire adepts. When the ice vanished, Saturos and Menardi lay on the ground nearly dead. Menardi was undergoing an epileptic seizure.

Garet: "WOOT!!! We won!"

Mia: "Whoa, we actually beat them!"

Ivan: "In your face guys!"

Ivan started dancing the polka.

All: -.-"

Isaac: "Felix, Sheba. You're free now. You don't have to continue lighting the lighthouses anymore."

Saturos: "I don't think that's quite right, boy. We may be down but we're certainly not out. Menardi."

Menardi: Thank you Saturos. Weather forecast: magnitude 8.2 earthquake. Warning: Idejima peninsula may tear off. Possibility of tidal wave from the east. Temperature: 31 degrees Celsius.—"

Saturos: "Menardi…what the hell are you saying?!?"

Menardi: "Uhh…oh right…now, where was I…?"

Menardi pondered really hard on that for a moment.

Ivan: "Can you guys just get to the point."

Menardi: "Oh yes, I remember! You guys may have defeated us once, but you will never defeat us once we do this…"

Saturos pulled out a piece of blue cheese.

Felix: "Cheese…you two just can't get anymore random…"

Sheba: "I sense it. 55 calories per portion, 2 grams of fat, 10 daily value of sodium and vitamins. Truly not bad."

Garet who was facing away from the conversation, turned around in surprise.

Garet: "What was that about cheese?"

Mia: "Oh my goodness, Garet. Pick a better time to go digging for gold! That's just disgusting!"

Garet: …

Saturos: "As we were saying, once we throw this in the beacon, all our power will be restored!"

Saturos then threw the slice of cheese into the beacon.

All!!!

A huge ray of light was emitted through the beacon.

Saturos and Menardi: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!"

Garet: "I thought Venus was earth. How could cheese thrown in instead of the star restore their power?"

Menardi: "Cheese and Mars share a common factor. They are in symbiosis."

Garet: "So I see."

The two mars adepts were now standing back on their feet as if they hadn't just fought an exhausting battle a few minutes ago. Their energy was more than just restored.

Saturos: "Felix, go. Take Sheba with you and flee to Idejima."

Felix: "What? No way!"

Menardi: "You don't seriously mean to let Sheba watch a second bloodshed do you? Already the first one was pg-16 and as you know, she is only 14 after all."

Felix: "What are you like her mother or something? No way, I'm staying here."

Saturos: "Hmm…I wonder if it's true. I wonder if you'd actually want to see your childhood friend get owned by us…"

Felix: "Isaac isn't my friend. He never was, well…not since he stole my teddy and never gave it back…"

Menardi: "Well then get the hell out of here!"

Ivan: "Look they're glowing!"

Isaac: "No duh…"

Garet: "Their power is overwhelming! It's over 9000!!!"

(By the way that was a joke from youtube. Check it out.)

The energy emitted by the two fire adepts was so great that they were now able to actually fuse together and form a creature with an immense power.

Menardi: "Feel the wrath of the mars clan of the north!"

Ivan: "You mean Canada?"

Mia: "But aren't they ruled by beavers?!?"

Menardi: "Shut up you two. You're ruining our moment!"

Saturos: "Muahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaha. All your base are belong to us. You are on the way to destruction. MAKE YOUR TIME!"

But the nonsense took so long that they never begun the battle. The blue energy sphere had already appeared from the beacon. Everyone stared into it and suddenly, all went green and blue. Somewhere in the distance, you could've sworn that "FOUR!" was heard.

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This chapter was brought to you by: Jaysee.

All of the above characters are fictional and belong to Camelot.


	4. Eat Cheese Or Die

Eat Cheese or Die

The Royal Guard was stationed around the gates of Hyrule Castle's throne room. Suddenly, massive clouds of laughing gas seeped through from under the doors and instantly, everyone began to laugh hysterically. It was chaos.

Then the doors blew up and Zant raced through followed by a dozen twili monsters, which kind of looked like donuts.

After the monsters finished strangling all the guards, Zant made his approach towards the princess.

Zant: "It is time for you to choose: Eat cheese, or die!"

Zelda could not say a word for she had the hiccups.

Zant: "Yes, a question for all the people, farmers, cows, cheese makers, cheese factories, mice, bacteria, and land of Hyrule: Life or Death?"

After a few seconds of utter silence, Zelda grabbed the slice of blue cheese in Zant's hand and gobbled it down. In a blink of an eye, the kingdom of Hyrule seemed to vanish into a dimension of green and blue light. Although the people have passed on to Termina, they continue to live on, unaware of the danger that has befallen upon them.

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This chapter was brought to you by: Jaysee.

All the above characters are fictional and belong to Nintendo.


	5. Bricks

It was a pretty normal day at smash mansion. At the moment, there weren't any battles going on and all the smashers were scattered around the mansion. Since it was a nice day, a good portion of the smashers were outside. Out on the lawn, the two princesses, Peach and Zelda were sitting under a tree, gossiping about everything in general.

Zelda: Hey, peach guess what?

Peach: What.

Zelda: Nothing odd has happened today!

Peach: Odd?

Zelda: Well more than the usual type of odd… You know like yesterday, when Young Link got stuck in a toilet. Or Roy's teddy bear ended up on the flagpole. Or when Ganondorf's underwear was found on the dining room table. Or-

Peach: OKAY, Zel I get the point. But what are you getting at here?

Zelda; what do you think is going to happen today?

Peach: I don't know… (Comes up with an evil plan) Ten coins that it will involve one of the swordsmen.

Zelda: Alright, you're on. Three coins that Ganondorf gets hit in the head with a brick.

Peach: Another coin that something gets stolen.

Zelda: Alright, deal.

No sooner had Zelda sealed her fate, a cry arose from the mansion.

**ROY!!!!**

Peach: looks like you are already losing!

Marth: ROY!!! GET BACK HERE WITH MY MASCARA AND MY TIARA!! AND WHAT EVER YOU DO, DON'T LOOK IN THE BAG!!!

Roy: Why what's in th- AAAAHHHHH I'M BLIND!!! IT'S HIDEOUS!!!" Roy screamed and dropped the bag and ran with his hands over his eyes, bumping into various objects. Link, who had been following, stopped to inspect the bag.

Link: Wonder what it is that freaked Roy out so much. It can't be any thing that bad since Marth was ca- OH MY GOD, I'M BLIND TOO!!! WAIT FOR ME ROY!!!" Link said with his hands over his eyes, running after Roy and bumping into the same objects. Peach followed after to see what the insanity was about. Then she saw the bag.

Peach: Oh my… Are those Marth's?" She asked her self for the bag contained many bright, radioactive pink and frilly pairs of underwear that would never be found in the men's section of _any_ clothing store.

Zelda: So what happened here?

Peach: I'm not entirely sure but I know one thing for sure.

Zelda: What?

Peach: you lost the bet.

Zelda: I still have a chance to regain here coins.

Peach: Not likely, even by our mansion's crazy standards.

Zelda: (Grumbles ad goes off to formulate an evil plan)

Peach: Wait. Aren't you forgetting something?

Zelda: ( Grumbles and hands peach some coins and then goes off to formulate evil plan.)

Marth: ROY, WHEN I FIND YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO BE IN _HUGE_ TROUBLE!!" Roy, hearing this, ran for the nearest hiding spot that he could find, which happened to be a cupboard.

Marth: HAHA!!! I'VE FOUND YOU!!! NOW YOU WILL FACE THE WRATH OF ME WITHOUT MY MAKEUP!!!!!!" Before Marth had a chance to extract whatever vengeance he had planed for Roy, Ganondorf burst into the kitchen and made his way to the fridge as quietly as possible (Which, in his case is about as quiet as a car crash). Though as soon as he approached the fridge a _very_ scary Zelda burst in as well.

Zelda: (in the scariest tone possible) I will get my three coins back!!!" She said as she scanned the counters for a brick. Not finding one, she grabbed the thing that had the same consistency of a brick; a piece of blue cheese, which she whipped at Ganondorf's head. Though upon impact, the cheese detonated. There was a blast and a flash of light and everybody was blinded though Zelda could have sworn that in the distance she could see a red and yellow flag with the number 18.765 on it.

--------------------- mr.flachenheiner: I don't own the characters; Nintendo does. 


	6. play Fighting

Of Insanity and Blue Cheese

Play Fighting

Luke was wandering in the chamber where Han had just been petrified. The room was still operational. Then, he sensed him: it was the Dark Lord himself.

The sound of a lightsaber alarmed him. Luke immediately turned around and activated his own to defend himself.

Darth Vader: "So we meet again, Luke Skywalker!"

Luke Skywalker: "…Uhh…no, actually, I've never met you..."

Darth Vader: "What?! Oh yeah, you're right. Sorry 'bout that…"

Luke Skywalker: "No problem dude. Anyways, sup?"

Darth Vader: "Meh…nothing much. Kinda boring around here. Had some unfinished business with your old pal, Solo. Yeah, you bet he was pretty damn lonely when he turned to stone. HAHAHA!!!"

Luke Skywalker: "Umm….okaaaaay……anyways, up for a little fight?"

Darth Vader: "Meh…sure, why not."

Luke and Vader fought vigorously. Every chamber of the City in the Sky they passed through was damaged and even destroyed by them. Eventually, they ended up in a huge bottomless shaft. Luke had no choice but to retreat on a ledge. Vader then stepped forward and drew his fist towards Luke.

Darth Vader: "Join the Dark side!"

Luke Skywalker: "NEVER!!!"

The evil lord then chopped off Luke's arm.

Luke Skywalker: "Oooow!!! Why da hell did you just do that? That's totally uncool and it's not part of the rules!"

Darth Vader: "Sorry!!!"

Luke Skywalker: "What, is that how you killed my father or something?"

Darth Vader: "Excuse me? I never killed your father."

Luke Skywalker: "LIES!"

Darth Vader: "No, it's the truth. I would never do such a thing…" (Starts crying) "I'm so sorry, Luke. I'm sorry to have to bring this up now, but…"

Darth Vader revealed a tiny piece of blue cheese in his hand.

Darth Vader: "Luke Skywalker, will you marry me?"

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This chapter was brought to you by: Jaysee.

All of the above characters are fictional and belong to George Lucas.


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